A friend forwarded me a list of what women in their 20′s think about, and it got me wondering what me and my friends are doing that’d make good hipster list fodder. So I collected my thoughts about what it means to be a “single guy in his early 30′s.” Pardon the Canadian bias, mileage may vary, but self-reflection is good.
Women like you more now than when you were in your 20′s, but you’re not sure why. Is it the slowly expanding gut, or the workaholism? Don’t care.
Going to a college bar goes one of two ways: best night ever!! Or a pathetic waste of a Saturday. Clearly no longer one of the bro’s. Did I just get called “sir”? These people sure are sloppier than I remember.
You shop mostly online and at 24hr mega-stores. You pretend to know a “great little bakery” when you need to go on a date. Yelp and Foursquare are better help than your hip and trendy friends (which you have less now).
Salt and pepper hair: soon!
When did you get so many peacoats? And leather shoes. Also, you like plaid again. The “Refined Yet Scruffy Off to the Cottage” look is a good look. Couple that with a craft beer on a patio and you got yourself a Saturday afternoon, friend.
You see something you like, you buy it. Simple! Treat yourself, after a decade of alcoholic poverty.
Hopeless devotion to a cause is slowly fading: you’re into good decisions now. Bike (Eco-green!) or drive (Ride or die!) to work? Neither. Move closer to the office, and walk if you can. Drive when you have a client meeting. Bike when it’s nice out. Rational.
The stock market and mutual funds: no longer stupid! 42-year old you will divest into index funds, but for now, have fun day-trading.
You want a house. Nay, a slick bachelor pad! Before someone demotes you into some man-cave. Advice: date someone trendy so they can help you pick a nice kitchen island.
Tired of shitty coffee. Just done with it.
Working out means flaring up that old basketball/soccer/breakdancing/no-longer-being-21 injury. And boy … will your friends hear about that shit. Please, tell me again why your ankles and knees aren’t what they used to be.
Dudes with babies: you’re OK with that. In fact, you’re impressed by how well put together they seem about it. Family is important. WHAAATT AM I A CONSERVATIVE NOW?! NOOO!!
Ex-girlfriend? Waah waah, someone else’s problems now. Sincerely hope they’re happy, because I sure am. (Mostly)